So very sorry I have been AWOL for days! I have just been feeling sorry for myself, and that horrible ache in the pit of my stomach just does not seem to go away.
Last Friday was Gene’s ninth chemo treatment, but first he had a scan, then labs, then a doctor’s appointment with Dr. Ramaekers. Cindy was able to come also.
Gene did get a good report – the doctor is so pleased with his continued tolerance of the treatments and how well Gene is handling them. His cancer tumors in the lungs have shrunk again. The doctor feels for Gene’s age (74) that he is doing very well.
Even though Gene’s reports were good, he has had a bad week due to the shot he is given to increase his white blood count. The shot makes him really miserable – his bones and body aches, but I think tomorrow he will start to feel better.
I have such mixed emotions … . I want to do so much to help Gene, but I don’t want to do too much to make him feel helpless. So I walk a fine line. (As most women know, when men don’t feel well, they can get crabby!!!)
I think what I miss most after Gene’s diagnosis is our time together, remember we have been married 49 years and have spent most of that time working and playing together. I miss Gene going out with me each early morning to help me do farm chores. Of course now we don’t have horses at home, but still have our two big hunting dogs that have to be fed, watered and each walked. This way I get in my 2-mile walk with the dogs.
I especially enjoyed our evenings together after work: our cocktail together and great conversations. I am positive we will get back to our normal life, but right now it is taking one day at a time.
I so appreciate all your kindness and prayers. We are still getting some lovely notes, and Gene always loves getting phone calls (308 380 0508).
Until next time,
Barbara
